|To all the American visitors :You're probably
just as sick and tired as the rest of the world of the
Nothing a bit of humor can't fix
THE ADVANTAGES OF BEING SOUTH
1. No need trying to keep up with the Joneses,
they emigrated last week.
2. You can eat worms and half dried meat and
not be considered disgusting.
3. Nothing is your fault, you can blame it all
4. Unrivalled job prospects for those
unburdened with training, skills or experience.
5. You get to buy a new car every 3 months and
the insurance company even pays for it.
6. You can experience "kak" (re. shit) service
in eleven official languages.
7. Where else can you get oranges with 45%
alcohol content at rugby matches?
8. It's the only country in the world where
striking workers show how angry they are by dancing through the
9. You're considered clumsy if you cannot: use
a cellphone (without a carkit), change CDs, drink a beer and smoke,
all at the same time while driving a car at 160 kph (100 miles) on the
10. Great accent.
11. People mistake you for
12. Americans will never consider dropping a
nuclear bomb on you because they don't know you
13. If you live in Johannesburg, you get to
brag about living in the most dangerous city in the
14. You get to carry a
15. Burglar bars become a feature, and a great
selling point for your house..
16. You can decorate your garden walls with
17. The police are the first on the scene for
most major crimes, without being
YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN SOUTH AFRICA
Votes have to be recounted until the right
party wins (sounds familiar?).
When illegal immigrants leave the country
because the crime rate is too high..
The police ask you if they must follow up on
the burglary you've just reported..
When a murderer gets a 2 year sentence and a
pirate TV viewer gets 6 months..
The prisoners strike!
You can't make a phone call because the copper
cables have been stolen..
The police stations have panic buttons to call
armed response when they are burgled.
The police stations have private security
firms guarding them.
Latest from the ministry of
In the name of political correctness the name
"Taxi" will be changed to "Computer". Why you may
It has windows.
It is driven by a floppy (nickname for black
Very likely to catch a virus.Can crash at any
Is always running out of space.Has a knack of
Even with all the bells and whistles it still
does no better than without them.
If it does not work then you have NT (no
Have a nice day