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30 August 2001

Education and Change. 

Soweto Educational Department Math's Paper 1


Examination Instructions:

  • 1. Please write all answers between the lines.
  • 2. No part of this answer book may be rolled and smoked.
  • 3. No children of students are allowed to participate.
  • 4. Please leave all firearms in the possession of parole officers.
  • 5. Bribes will be accepted at a minimum of R 300.00
  • 6. If this exam does not match the one that you bought in advance, please notify the examiner.


Philemon has an AK 47 with 2 magazines taped together, each holding 30 rounds. If he misses 8 out of 10 shots, how many drive-by taxi shootings can he attend before having to reload?

QUESTION 2 Phineas has a 12-seater minibus; to avoid discomfort he never carries more than 23 people. Assuming each passenger weighs 85 kg, and piles 35 kg of luggage on the roof, he drives at 140 km/hr and that his brakes are 25% efficient, what would his stopping distance be? a) 300 m b) 600 m c) 10 m d) Depends if there is another passenger to pick up.

QUESTION 3 Jacob is employed as a garden boy for 1 day a week in 3 households. Assuming that he can make a lawnmower last 3 months, how many lawnmowers will the households have to purchase in a period of 2 years?

QUESTION 4 In standard 6, Jackson has made 4 girls in his class pregnant and another 6 from other classes. How many girls will he have made pregnant before he leaves school if he matriculates on his 28th birthday?

QUESTION 5 Samuel and his friends, altogether 6 of them, can each drink 35 bottles per day of Black Label before falling over. How many SAB trucks do they need to hijack per year to remain permanently pissed?

There are jokes abound about the educational level of the previously disadvantaged. Looking at the troubled education history in South Africa one can understand why there are so many un-educated black people here. The '76 riots started with black revolt against the government for imposing on them the Afrikaans language as a mandatory subject at school. Suppose if I was in their shoes I would also revolt against this issue, especially looking at the culmination of so many oppressive issues already imposed on you.

I am glad to see though that more and more black people are eager for an education. The biggest problem here for our country with eleven official languages is the medium of education. Should it be English? Naw, there are ten other languages to consider! And what about the other 90% of the students that don't speak or understand Xhosa? Tough takkie!

That's where the main issue lies with most of the violence we saw when schools just became fully integrated. If an area had more Zulu speaking students than any other language, this was enforced at schools to make provision for these students wether they enrolled at a primary Afrikaans speaking facility or not. Big bugger-up messing with the pride and joy of the Afrikaners (re. Boere). Unfortunately it took a bit of time for government to realise this.

It really looks like most Boere have accepted that change must come. The buggers outnumber us 20 to 1, so there is definitely no way that we can win this. Not at the cost of major bloodshed and a world that would condemn us without knowing the facts (and here we know all about it).