|Crime and more crime!
Traffic police becoming the target - anything
to do with law and order becoming the
Here's a couple of truths when living in
You know you live in Johannesburg
1. The person in front of you in traffic this
morning was hijacked and you got irritated because you missed the traffic
2. While eating dinner a news item comes on TV
about a family of six slaughtered in their home, and you ask someone to
pass you the salt.
3. You never think of taxis in terms of
4. You have a minimum of five worst taxi
5. While waiting at the ATM the bank is robbed
by armed gunmen, but you'll be damned if you're going to lose your place
in the queue.
6. You're suspicious of strangers who are
actually nice to you.
7. The last time you drove your car without
swearing at someone was when you took your drive
8. It takes you an hour and a half to drive
5km to work in the morning and you think "wow, good traffic
9. Every time you find your car parked where
you left it you are genuinely surprised.
10. You've never been to Melville or Rockey
Street, but love Sandton City.
11. You can get into a four-hour argument
about the quickest way out of Sunninghill after work on a Friday, but
can't find Boksburg on a map.
12. Prostitutes and the homeless are
13. You've seriously considered shooting
14. You have more barbed wire around your home
than Diepkloof Prison.
15. You consider eye contact an act of overt
16. You consider a postage-stamp sized patch
of grass a garden.
17. You consider Midrand the
18. You happily pay R3500.00 a month for a
townhouse in the North the size of a cupboard, but think R2.50 for a loaf
of bread ridiculous.
19. The last time you visited the coast you
paid more in accumulated speeding fines than you did for the entire
20. Your monthly car insurance is more than
most of the people in SA's car repayments.
21. What are stars?
22. You own hiking boots and a 4WD, neither of
which have ever touched dirt.
23. You actually take fashion
24. Being truly alone makes you 'go for your
25. You have 20 different menus next to your
26. SA South of the Vaal is still theoretical
27. You can carry R350 worth of groceries in
one plastic bag.
28. You don't hear gunfire